We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
