Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She told me I should be a condom model.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
