he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
