Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
