i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
How's work?
Spinning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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