It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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