She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
