I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
