I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
