Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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