What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
