OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So vagazzling was a success
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
