I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is Oprah even human
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
