I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
