There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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