thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
