Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
