Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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