i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
