I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize