I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
