Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
