After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
