So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
