I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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