So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
