Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize