Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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