Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
