Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
