So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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