It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
