I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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