I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
