who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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