No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
