For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
