im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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