i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize