this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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