she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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