I am full of burrito and curiosity
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
