Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize