i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fuck appropriateness.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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