She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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