she was so not down for the gang bang
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
foreskin is a definite game changer
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
