I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
