You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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