Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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