K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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