Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize