You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
