We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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