Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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