My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
