no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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