Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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