you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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