please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
