I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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