but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
